狼疮肾炎可以治愈吗:请英语好的进,看这篇作文应得多少分

来源:百度文库 编辑:中科新闻网 时间:2024/05/03 02:35:10
要求:以“Humour”为题,写一篇作文。内容包括:1、幽默是生活中的一种智慧。 2、幽默有益于我们的身心健康。 3、为了培养幽默感,一个人必须有开放的心胸和处理不愉快的事情的能力。
注意:1、短文必须包括所有要点,但不要逐条翻译,可以适当拓展。 2、词数100左右。 看下面这篇作文写得怎么样。总分25,拜托大家打个分。

When we watch TV, either Charlie Choplin or Jim Carey's performance will make us burst into laughter. Why do people like to watch such programs? That's because they're full of humour, which is a kind of intelligence and a spice that can make our life colorful.
Humour is another way to think of life. It will lead us to realize the beauty of life, and help to keep good mind, which is of course good for our health, both mental and physical.
In order to develop the sense of humour,we should have a widely-opened mind and try to be more generous. One should also improve the ability to deal with those unhappy things. Only in these ways can we truly feel the magic power of humour.

呵呵,18分吧,will用的有的地方有问题,可以改成could,第2段的中式思维太浓了些,别的地方都很好。有的地方语法有一点错误,不过无关紧要

both mental and physical我觉得是错误啊,用副词啊。这个不应该吧。
16分左右。中国英语的感觉浓了点。

When we watch TV, either Charlie Choplin’s or Jim Carey's performance will make us burst into laughter(laugh). Why do people like watching such programs? That's because they're full of humour, which is a kind of intelligence and a spice that can make our life colorful.
Humour is another way to think of life. It will lead us to realize the beauty of life, and help to keep good mind, which is of course good for our health, both mentally and physically.
In order to develop the sense of humour, we should have a widely-opened mind and try to be more generous. One should also improve the ability of dealing with those unhappy things. Only in these ways can we truly feel the magic power of humour.
20分左右吧,写得还可以啊

not bad
keep moving !
18-20分