合肥十佳婚宴酒店:有趣的英语

有趣的英语小故事
　　Words in red are in the glossary. Click to see them.

　　Every August. Every August for twelve years. Every August for twelve years we went to the same small town on holiday. Every August for twelve years we went to the same beach. Every August for twelve years my parents rented the same small house in the same small town near the same beach, so every morning of every August for twelve years I woke up and walked down to the same beach and sat under the same umbrella or on the same towel in front of the same sea.

　　There was a small café on the beach where we sat every day, and every day Mr. Morelli in the café said “Good morning!” to my parents, and then always patted me on the head like a dog. Every day we walked down to our red and white umbrella, every day my father sat on his deckchair and read the newspaper then went to sleep, every day my mother went for a swim in the sea and then went to sleep. Every lunch time we ate the same cheese sandwiches which my mother made, and then every afternoon we went up to the café and ate an ice cream while my parents talked to Mr Morelli about the weather. Every summer for twelve years I sat there and read books and sometimes played volleyball with some of the other boys and girls who were there, but I never made any friends.

　　It was so boring.

　　Every August for twelve years the same family sat next to us. They were called the Hamiltons. We had a red and white umbrella, they had a green one. Every morning my parents said “Good morning!” to Mr and Mrs Hamilton, and Mr and Mrs Hamilton said “Good morning!” to my parents. Sometimes they talked about the weather.
　　Mr and Mrs Hamilton had two sons. Richard was the same age as me, and his brother Philip was two years older than me. Richard and Philip were both taller than me. Richard and Philip were very friendly, and both very handsome. They were much friendlier and more handsome than me. They made friends with everyone, and organised the games of volleyball on the beach or swimming races in the sea with the other children. They always won the games of volleyball and the swimming races. My parents liked Richard and Philip a lot. “Why can’t you be more like Richard and Philip?” they said to me. “Look at them! They make friends with everyone! They are polite, good boys! You just sit here reading books and doing nothing!”

　　I, of course, hated them.

　　Richard and Philip, Richard and Philip, Richard and Philip – it was all I ever heard from my parents every August for twelve years. Richard and Philip were perfect. Everything about them was better than anything about me. Even their green beach umbrella was better than our red and white one.

　　I was sixteen years old the last summer we went there. Perfect Richard and perfect Philip came to the beach one day and said that they were going to have a barbecue at lunch time. They were going to cook for everyone! “Forget your cheese sandwiches”, they laughed, “Come and have some hamburgers or barbecue chicken with us! We’re going to cook!”
　　My parents, of course, thought this was wonderful. “Look at how good Richard and Philip are! They’re going to do a barbecue and they’ve invited everybody! You couldn’t organise a barbecue!”

　　Every summer for twelve years, on the other side of my family, sat Mrs Moffat. Mrs Moffat was a very large woman who came to the same beach every summer for twelve years on her own. Nobody knew if she had a husband or a family, but my parents said that she was very rich. Mrs Moffat always came to the beach wearing a large hat, a pair of sunglasses and a gold necklace. She always carried a big bag with her. She never went swimming, but sat under her umbrella reading magazines until lunchtime when she went home.

　　Richard and Philip, of course, also invited Mrs Moffat to their barbecue.

　　Richard and Philip’s barbecue was, of course, a great success. About twenty people came and Richard and Philip cooked lots of hamburgers and chicken and made a big salad and brought big pieces of watermelon and everyone laughed and joked and told Mr and Mrs Hamilton how wonderful their sons were. I ate one hamburger and didn’t talk to anybody. After a while, I left, and made sure that nobody saw me leave.
　　Mrs Moffat ate three plates of chicken and two hamburgers. After that she said she was very tired and was going to go and have a sleep. She walked over to her umbrella and sat down on her deckchair and went to sleep. When she woke up later, everybody on the beach was surprised to hear her screaming and shouting.

　　“My bag!!!! My bag!!!” she shouted. “It’s gone!!! It’s GONE!!!” Everybody on the beach ran over to Mrs Moffat to see what the problem was. “Someone has taken my bag!!!” she screamed, “Someone has stolen my bag!!!”
　　“Impossible!” said everybody else. “This is a very safe, friendly beach! There are no thieves here!” But it was true. Mrs Moffat’s big bag wasn’t there anymore.
　　Nobody had seen any strangers on the beach during the barbecue, so they thought that Mrs Moffat had perhaps taken her bag somewhere and forgotten it. Mr Morelli from the café organised a search of the beach. Everybody looked everywhere for Mrs Moffat’s big bag.

　　Eventually, they found it. My father saw it hidden in the sand under a deckchair. A green deckchair. Richard and Philip’s deckchair. My father took it and gave it back to Mrs Moffat. Everybody looked at Richard and Philip. Richard and Philip, the golden boys, stood there looking surprised. Of course, they didn’t know what to say.
　　Mrs Moffat looked in her bag. She started screaming again. Her purse with her money in it wasn’t in the big bag. “My purse!” she shouted, “My purse has gone! Those boys have stolen it! They organised a barbecue so they could steal my purse!”
　　Everybody tried to explain to Mrs Moffat that this couldn’t possibly be true, but Mrs Moffat called the police. The police arrived and asked golden Richard and golden Philip lots of questions. Richard and Philip couldn’t answer the questions. Eventually, they all got into a police car and drove away to the police station.

　　I sat there, pretending to read my book and trying to hide a big, fat purse under the sand on the beach.

　　That was the last summer we went to the beach. My parents never talked about Richard and Philip again.

　　Glossary

　　barbecue (n): when you cook meat, fish or vegetables outside over a fire, or make a meal in this way and eat outside, often during a party.
　　deckchair (n): a light, folding chair to use outside, especially on the beach, on a ship or in a park.
　　handsome (adj): describes a man who is physically attractive in a traditional, masculine way.
　　hide (v): to put something or someone in a place where they cannot be seen or found, or to put yourself somewhere where you cannot be seen or found.
　　invite (v): to ask or request someone to go to an event.joke (v): to say funny things.
　　necklace (n): a piece of jewellery worn around the neck, such as a chain or a string of decorative stones.
　　pat (v): to touch someone or something gently and usually repeatedly with the hand flat.
　　pretend (v): to act as if something is true when you know that it is not, especially in order to deceive people.
　　purse (n): a small container for money, usually used by a woman.
　　race (n): a competition in which all the competitors try to be the fastest and to finish first.
　　rent (v): to pay money for the use of a room, house, car, television etc.
　　scream (v): to cry or say something loudly, especially because of strong emotions such as fear or excitement or anger.
　　shout (v): to express strong emotions, such as anger, fear or excitement, or to express strong opinions, in a loud voice.
　　steal/stole/stolen (v): to take something without the permission or knowledge of the owner and keep it.
　　stranger (n): a person who you don’t know.
　　sunglasses (n): dark glasses which you wear to protect your eyes from bright light from the sun.
　　thief/thieves (n): a person who steals.
　　towel (n): a piece of cloth or paper used for drying someone or something that is wet.
　　umbrella (n): a stick with a material shade at the top used for protection against the rain or sun.
　　volleyball (n): a game in which two teams use their hands to hit a large ball backwards and forwards over a high net without allowing the ball to touch the ground.
　　watermelon (n): a large round or oval-shaped fruit with dark green skin, sweet watery pink flesh and a lot of black seeds.

　　搞笑英语
　　1．we two who and who？
　　咱俩谁跟谁阿

　　2．how are you ? how old are you?
　　怎么是你，怎么老是你？

　　3．you don't bird me,I don't bird you
　　你不鸟我，我也不鸟你

　　4．you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers ！ together up ！
　　你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！

　　5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!!
　　有事起奏，无事退朝

　　6．you me you me
　　彼此彼此

　　7．You Give Me Stop!!
　　你给我站住！

　　8．know is know noknow is noknow
　　知之为知之，不知为不知...

　　9．WATCH SISTER
　　表妹

　　10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse''son can make hole!!
　　龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！

　　11．American Chinese not enough
　　美中不足

　　12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die
　　车祸现场描述

　　13．heart flower angry open
　　心花怒放

　　14．go past no mistake past
　　走过路过，不要错过

　　15．小明：I am sorry!
　　老外：I am sorry too!
　　小明：I am sorry three!
　　老外：What are you sorry for?
　　小明：I am sorry five!

　　16．If you want money,I have no;
　　if you want life,I have one!
　　要钱没有，要命一条

　　17．I call Li old big. toyear 25.
　　我叫李老大，今年25。

　　18．you have two down son。
　　你有两下子。

　　19．as far as you go to die
　　有多远，死多远！！！！

　　20．I give you face you don''t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face
　　给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸

搞笑!!!!!!!!

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