儿童魔术教学视频:白雪公主的搞笑版英语剧本

没有找到英文版的，偶自己按中文版的对照在线翻译出来的英文.粗略看了一下，正确率还是不错的说^^

Aside: You can't see your hand in front of you in one at night, pitch-dark forest have one one black little girl running alarmed of clothing. (princess appears on the stage , the black clothing runs and encloses ) she is in rags, the complexion is wan and sallow , turn one's head and look around frequently, but not dare to stay under the foot. All of a sudden, she finds there is a small house in the front, she who is drained can not support again, have fallen to quickly. (The princess falls down, stick up the buttocks and get up. Push away on the door and has not opened for a long time; Pull, open. )
Princess: Food! The bread wants too! The apple wants too! My kao, the dish leaf is not missed either! ! (princess sits on the chair taking, type the belch) aside: After eating and drink, she has felt very tired, wants to have a rest, fall asleep soon …… Aside: ……Whether soon, owner of house come back, they whether seven is it quarry little short people of gold to open a mine in mountain. (Little short people are the basketball team team clothes, have, newspaper fruit name, is it sing (fruit fruit to dance ~~))

Snow: Turn towards and rotate left! (everybody transfers to at will) count off! (everybody's moustache newspaper) really can do nothing about you ……Turn right. Snow: (kick the door, see the princess calls) dragen! (shake hands, rub into) snow: dragen! Hit ! (play everybody,snow in before make not pushing away by the movements and callisthenics movement hand,at the same time last " Chinese Gonfu " aside) princess: Don't hit my face , don't hit my face ~~Peng Peng: Oh, the beauty ~~Snow: Stop! (jump one step after everybody, the princess gets up, look at everybody) insult: (whether gather up light rain, big Historical Records profit Gong dub), this can be regarded as the beauty too ……BEACH: WHERE ARE YOU FROM? Princess: Everybody is good, my name is the snow white, 5 years old this year, go to the kindergarten , has not got married yet. The thing is actually like this ……

(On the mirror , bow, draw the things, draw for quite a while , draw out the newspaper, launch, write " the evil spirit mirror " on the newspaper, shut the newspaper, regain ) (the imperial mother goes to, beautiful kitchen apron, rub the mirror) the imperial mother: Mirror! Mirror! Tell me truth, who is the most beautiful woman here? Mirror: (Sing: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL ~~YOU ARE SO HANDSOME ~~)Imperial mother, you are really a very beautiful woman . Imperial mother: Generally generally (put up both hands) Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha! I am the most beautiful woman in the world! ! ! Mirror : But, (say retreat), even beautiful than you snow white. Imperial mother: (go frantic kind) ……(ponder) (point loudly) waiter! Brick: (Sunglasses, hold the toothpick in the mouth, getting vacillating and staggering, rub imperial mother) rub not rubing by imperial mother: (push away) ……Has not your girl brushed teeth ? Brick: I KAO, these you can see even? ? Imperial mother: Tell you pieces of decent thing , have piece what snow white does it call , you help me to become him!

Brick: Please say, how much is it? Imperial mother: 2 million, how about it? Brick: (spit toothpicks) 2 million? Must do, brothers, I carry a usual mind, don't root signature pen,go over great river of I north and south, it drink not hot very popular one all the same. 2 million is not all right. Imperial mother: Do you have small honey? Do you have little and honeyed? (say edge step), find you such as the pieces of Zhao Benshan, how about it? Brick: (think a little) make a deal! Imperial mother: (embrace in a low voice) but must click agilely clean under you! Brick: Receive! No pa! Imperial mother: Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha! (end) (whether brick is it is it is it put the things of garment to down to squat to turn round)

Princess: Now, we please produce the specially invited guest of today - -Handsome and graceful, cajaput face wind, it is called little killer adobe of flying dragon the jade, the bracket, board brick, the bracket finishes, comrade. Brick: Whether (whether is it turn round to jump, cook salted duck egg superman must abate form, laugh foolishly), princess. Is it see night in toe to stretch out one's hand in one, (whether sound mention), he , he , he of he , ……he catch left hand of me, (whether brick pay special attention to princess' left hand), then, he, he he ……He catch right hand of me, (whether 180 of song-and-dance duet, brick pay special attention to princess' right hand), then, he, ……(whether tone calm), he and I dance a dance. From then on, in the American man who I fell into him counted . One day, he said he wanted to take me to Yuyuan Pond to watch the oriental cherry, (two people wave the revolutionary posture ) unexpected, his face changes , from drawing in one's arms, (the brick draws out the small thing), draw, (the brick draws out the small thing again), draw out a knife! (whether brick draw out one hundred sheets (comb ), comb one's hair), (whether brick take knife live in princess definitely , the princess makes girl student's form while retreating )

Princess: Others are girl students that should not need ~~Brick: (Bow, sigh, suddenly came out boldly, hand wisps of hair, POSE ) fault , fault, the fault, as before, people are empty and thin in spring, the tear stains moves Jiao Shao completely red; (Sing: I always have too soft heart, (everybody: The heart is too soft) (change into Beijing opera and adjust): Take on all questions! )(dialogue snow princess say:) Please walk, I do not kill you ! Whether (whether two people countenance suddenly, face the audience side by side), princess. Whether express gratitude to water yuans of brick forever , reporter of the front ,. Cui JunYi two people: Report sent back from Baghdad. Brick: Right to rotate, in step to move! (two people are abducted down suitably )

Aside: This that the snow white's remembrance has got, the story has got back to the scene begun again. At this moment, seven little short persons discuss whether to leave the snow white or not. (little short people enclose one circle , read the tongue twister (grape ……),Want not listening to snow white everybody it determine what everybody push away) (stand up everybody. Whether snow clap hands, go back body wash the audience), snow. Do so! There is difficulty to be helped, have no problem, it is difficult to make but helped too ~~~~Aside: In this way, seven little short persons go to the mountain to look for the gold and silver every day, the snow white stays and does some housework at home. (Little short people steal the form of the things , withdraw from the arena ; The snow withdraws from the arena from another side)

Aside: After the servant goes back to report on completion of a task, the queen thought the snow white had already died. By now, she will certainly whole world most beautiful woman(imperial mother draw mirror, the white cross by the mirror glasses) imperial mother: (rub the mirror) the mirror! Mirror! Tell me truth, who is the most beautiful of all women here. Mirror : You are still very beautiful, however, but (wave, retreat , escape ) more beautiful even than you snow white. Imperial mother: This servant is very of no use, return so that I touch it in person. (whether imperial mother lay, at the princess, eat), (pay by imperial mother, whether bring umbrella, walnut load pocket in front of apron with) princess. Have taken the small umbrella? Imperial mother: Take, give. (pass the umbrella) the princess: Really bring, (see the umbrella) good, kindness , right, give (return ) to the imperial mother: Why not take . Princess: (whether shrug, owe), rain ~~~Imperial mother: Then, do you want the walnut? Princess: Do you have carrot? Imperial mother: Do you want the walnut?
Princess: Do you have carrot? Imperial mother: (loudly) what I asked is: You want the walnut! ! Princess: Oh, the walnut ……Do you have carrot? (The imperial mother shouts, knock down the princess on the chair with the umbrella, draw out walnuts, want to feed) the princess: (open eyes, decent form ) this walnut is poisonous (close one's eyes , fall , the walnut that the imperial mother fed) (imperial mother laughs) Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha! (Hold up an umbrella, sing: You are happy ~~Oh, I am happy ~~,Make ) aside: Just as the meteor has rowed at midnight in the death of the snow white, whenever I look up at the lonely starry sky many years later, always remember a word like this: "Somebody's death is weightier than Mount Tai, but the death of person having it is entirely of no significance , entirely of no significance ……"

(The little short person has, line up, unless it enter door, it see princess form of,enclose semicircle of) man: (carry the princess) hey, the pig, don't sleep , work quickly ! Whether (whether see its reactionless , good to try on breath its, make idiot form), good. She has died ……Study: (whether feel their, do terrified form, think Peng Peng), she die! (Everybody repeats sequentially: "She has died! "Having insulted and finished saying, everybody covers one's face and weep, draw and sell the paper from the pocket at the same time , throw away while tearing) aside: At this moment, the prince of the neighbouring country just comes here to go hunting. (At the prince, sheet act as cape, make little plane form, unless two circle been run, it go to by it insult,ask) prince: Who is this ~~Good: We and she do not imprison ……BEACH: (cover the good mouth, receive) we and he do not matter! Everybody: It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. Peng Peng: In fact, she is a beauty! (everybody flashes, the prince winds princesses to watch, suspend) the prince: My KAO, this beauty too! (flat princess, the princess spits walnuts, wake up) the princess: (shout), you who he mother fight me, who! Someone! (whether see prince, prince later , flash), you! (Dash to the prince, everybody draws, the princess gets rid of everybody, throw away, go out, stop, turn round ) KAO, how draw I you! (turn round and see princes, the prince turns round) the princess: (girl student's form ) handsome boy ~~Whether (whether prince change), princess. (to the audience, ripe man's sound) beautiful! Very beautiful!

Aside: The snow white has fallen in love with the prince. (whether princess gather up prince, take platform to it, little short people stand first row behind them), they are going to marry, but at wedding, later on king. (imperial mother has, spirit's haunt and plague form ) the prince: Especially dress up? Princess: Do not have! (little short people overstate the form ) (BEACH sees imperial mother) BEACH: (refer to the imperial mother) look, is not that a big aunt who sells the walnut! (little short people move the imperial mother to the chair, enclose the semicircle) imperial mother: Do! Do! Snow: (bend over to the imperial mother) tell you that sees the thing! Imperial mother (? )Little short people (one for each person, say one and a half): Zhang Guorong has died, the peak has died too, how did Zhang Guorong die? The one that get the SARS and die. He lacks the iodine , it causes the kidney function to be depleted to lack the iodine, water flows to the lower, flow to the ankle, the ankle is swollen. How did that peak die? The peak lacks irons. That is because Li Tie has gone to Britain, do not have Chen Gang? The steel is harder than the iron, cross and is inferior to particularly. What oil is crossed? Underground drainage oil, the underground drainage oil is the oil that is smelted out from the underground drainage. U.S.A. hits Iraq only for the underground drainage oil! The film of U.S.A. is specially interesting! Let's go to see the American film next week, then let's watch China ! We watch Farewell My Concubine ( ) ....How about it? Farewell My Concubine was played the role of by Zhang Guorong, Zhang Guorong died ……

(The imperial mother shouts, stamp the ground, protruding, everybody scatter,the whole audience quiet) imperial mother: (revolutionary form ) I am Xiao Ming! (change the direction) I want to go to school! (Sing: Small and two little my darling ~~~(put and put crazily)) everybody: Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha! (Everybody in behind one row will be stood , continue snow heartily,see everybody not parked, whether uneasy form, bow, stand by everybody), aside. The queen is crazy , after the snow white marries prince, happy life is full of happiness and happiness, they are together happily all one's life. This that our modern drama arrived, thank everybody for everybody's concerns , me, it is the aside. )

Everybody appears on the stage , bow, answer a curtain call.

没有英文的，这是中文的，你要用就自己翻译吧

剧本：白雪公主

旁白：下面请欣赏020700班话剧：白雪公主。我，是旁白。

旁白：在一个伸手不见五指的夜里，漆黑的森林里有一个一身黑衣的小女孩惊慌的跑着。（公主上场，黑衣跑圈）她衣衫褴褛，面色憔悴，不时地回头张望，脚下却不敢停留。忽然间，她发现前面有一座小房子，精疲力竭的她再也支持不住，一下子摔到了。（公主摔倒，撅屁股起。推门许久不开；拉门，开。）

公主：吃的！面包也要！苹果也要！我kao，菜叶子也不放过！！

（公主坐在椅子上吃，打嗝）

旁白：吃过喝过之后，她觉得非常疲倦，想休息休息，就很快就睡着了……

旁白：……不久，房子的主人们回来了，他们是七个在山里开矿采金子的小矮人：

（小矮人，系篮球队队服，上，自报水果名，跳舞唱歌（果果~~））

雪：向左~转！（众人随便转）报数！（众人胡报）真拿你们没办法……向右转。

雪：（踢门，看到公主喊）dragen!

（拉手，蹭入）

雪： dragen!打！

（众人打，雪在前做推手动作和健美动作，同时旁白唱“中国功夫”）

公主：别打我脸，别打我脸~~

彭彭：哇，美女~~

雪：停！

（众人后跳一步，公主起，望众人）

凌：（搂小雨，大史记中巩利配音声）这也算美女呀……

BEACH：WHERE ARE YOU FROM？

公主：大家好，我叫白雪公主，今年5岁，上幼稚园，还没有结婚。

事情其实这样的……

（镜子上，鞠躬，掏东西，掏半天，掏出报纸，展开，报纸上写“魔镜”，合报纸，收回）

（母后上，美厨围裙，蹭镜子）

母后：镜子！镜子！告诉我实话，谁是这里最漂亮的女人？

镜子：（唱：YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL~~YOU ARE SO HANDSOME~~）母后，你的确是非常漂亮的女人。

母后：一般~（举双手）哈哈哈！哈哈哈！我是世界上最漂亮的女人！！！

镜：可是，可是，（边说边退）白雪公主比你还漂亮。

母后：（抓狂样）……（沉思）（响指）waiter！

砖： （墨镜，叼牙签，摇摇晃晃上，蹭母后）嘛呀~嘛呀~

母后：（推）……你丫又没刷牙吧？

砖： 我KAO，这你也看得出来？？

母后： 跟你说件正经事，有个叫什么白雪公主的，你帮我做了他！

砖： 你说吧，多少钱？

母后： 两百万，怎么样？

砖： （吐牙签）两百万？不行不行，哥们，我揣颗平常心，别根签字笔，我走遍大江南北，照样吃香的喝辣的。两百万不行。

母后： 你有小蜜吗？小蜜你有吗？（边说边上步）给你找个赵本山那样的，怎么样？

砖： （微思）成交！

母后：（搂过低声）但你手底下可要干净利索点！

砖： 收到！No pa!

母后：哈哈哈！哈哈哈！（下场）

（砖转身蹲下往衣服中装东西）

公主： 下面，我们请出今天的特邀嘉宾——英俊潇洒，玉树临风，人称玉面小飞龙的杀手adobe，括弧，板砖，括弧完，同志。

砖： （跳转身，做咸蛋超人必杀状，傻笑）

公主： 在一个伸手不见脚趾的夜晚，（声音提起）他，他他他……他抓住了我的左手，（砖抓公主左手）然后，他，他他……他又抓住了我的右手，（二人转180度，砖抓公主右手），然后，他，……（语气镇定）他和我跳了一支舞。从此，我便陷入了他的美男计之中。有一天，他说要带我去玉渊潭看樱花，（二人摆革命姿势）突然，他脸色一变，从怀里掏，（砖掏出小玩意），掏，（砖又掏出小玩意），掏出了一把刀！（砖掏出刀（梳子），梳头）

（砖拿刀定住公主，公主边退边做女生状）

公主： 不要嘛~不要嘛~人家是女生啦~~

砖： （低头，叹气，突然挺身，手缕头发，POSE）错，错，错，春如旧，人空瘦，泪痕红移鲛绡透；（唱：我总是心太软，（众人：心太软）（转成京剧调）：把所有问题都自己担！）（对白雪公主说：）你走吧，我不杀你！

（突然二人正色，并排面向观众）

公主：感谢前方记者水永元

砖：崔均益

二人：从巴格达发回的报道。

砖：向右~转，齐步~走！

（二人顺拐下）

旁白：白雪公主的回忆就到这，故事又回到了开始的场景。此时，七个小矮人讨论是否留下白雪公主。

（小矮人围一圈，念绕口令（葡萄……），白雪公主欲听众人决定，众人推之）

（众人起身。雪拍手，回身冲观众）

雪：就这么办！有困难要帮，没有困难，制造困难也要帮呀~~~~

旁白：这样，七个小矮人每天到山里寻找金子和银子，白雪公主则呆在家里干些家务活。

（小矮人做偷东西状，退场；雪从另一侧退场）

旁白：仆人回去复命后，王后以为白雪公主已经死了。这下，她一定是全世界最漂亮的女人了

（母后拉镜子上，镜子眼镜旁别白十字）

母后：（蹭镜子）镜子！镜子！告诉我实话，这儿所有的女人谁最漂亮。

镜： 你仍然很漂亮，但是，但是（摆手，退，逃）白雪公主比你还漂亮。

母后：这个仆人真没用，还得我亲自动手。

（母后下,公主上，吃东西）

（母后上，带伞，核桃装在围裙前口袋中）

（母后敲门，公主开）

公主：带小雨伞了吗？

母后：带了，给。

（递过雨伞）

公主：真带啦，（看雨伞）不错，恩，不错，给（还回）

母后：怎么不要了。

公主： （耸肩，欠）没下雨呀~~~

母后：那么，你要核桃吗？

公主：你有胡萝卜吗？

母后：你要核桃么？

公主：你有胡萝卜么？

母后：（大声）我问的是：你要核桃么！！

公主：哦，核桃呀……你有胡萝卜么？

（母后大喊，用雨伞将公主击倒在椅子上，掏出核桃，欲喂）

公主：（睁眼，正经状）这个核桃有毒（闭眼，倒，母后喂之核桃）

（母后大笑）哈哈哈！哈哈哈！

（打伞，唱：你快乐~~噢，我快乐~~，下）

旁白：白雪公主的死就像流星划过子夜，多年后每当我仰望寂寞的星空，总会想起这样一句话：“有的人的死重于泰山，而有的人的死则轻于鸿毛，轻于鸿毛……”

（小矮人上，整队，进门，见公主状，围半圆）

丁：（揣公主）嘿，猪，别睡了，快干活！

（见其无反应，嘉试其鼻息，做白痴状）

嘉：她死了耶……

学：（摸之，做惊恐状，看彭彭）她死了！

（众人依次重复：“她死了！”凌说完，众人掩面而泣，同时从兜中掏出手纸，边撕边扔）

旁白：此时，邻国的王子正好到这里来打猎。

（王子上，床单当斗篷，做小飞机状，跑两圈，跑到凌旁，问）

王子：这是谁呀~~

嘉：我们和她不发生关……

BEACH：（捂住嘉嘴，接到）我们和他没关系！

众人：没关系，没关系。

彭彭：其实，她是一美女！

（众人闪，王子绕公主看，停）

王子：我KAO，这也美女！（扁公主，公主吐核桃，醒）

公主：（大喊）你们谁他妈打我，谁！谁！（看王子，王子回头，闪）是不是你！（冲向王子，众人拉，公主甩众人，甩开，冲出，停，转头）KAO，你们怎么不拉我呀！（转头看王子，王子回头）

公主：（女生状）帅哥~~

（王子倒）

公主：（对观众，成熟男人声）漂亮！太漂亮了！

旁白：白雪公主爱上了王子。（公主搂王子，将之带到台中间，小矮人在他们身后站一排）他们要结婚了，但是在婚礼上，王后来了。

（母后上，鬼祟状）

王子：有特别打扮么？

公主：没有呀！

（小矮人夸张状）

（BEACH看见母后）

BEACH：（指母后）看，那不是卖核桃的大婶婶么！

（小矮人把母后拉到椅子上，围半圆）

母后：干嘛呀！干嘛呀！

雪：（弯腰对母后）跟你说见事吧！

母后（？）

小矮人们（每人一句，说一轮半）：张国荣死了，高峰也死了，张国荣怎么死的？得非典型性肺炎死的。他缺碘，缺碘引起了肾功能衰竭，水往低处流，流到了脚脖子，脚脖子肿了。那高峰怎么死的？高峰缺铁。那是因为李铁去英国了，不是还有陈刚呢？钢比铁硬，过尤不及了。过什么油呀？地沟油，地沟油就是从地沟里炼出来的油。美国打伊拉克就是为了地沟油！美国的电影特好看！那咱们下礼拜去看美国电影吧，那咱还是看中国的吧！咱们看霸王别姬（吧）....怎么样？霸王别姬是张国荣演的，张国荣死了……

（母后大喊，跺地，突起，众人散开，全场静）

母后：（革命状）我是小明！（换方向）我要上学！（唱：小呀么小二郎~~~（装疯下））

众人：哈哈哈！哈哈哈！

（众人在后站一排，雪继续哈哈，见众人停，不好意思状，鞠躬，站在众人旁）

旁白：王后疯了，白雪公主和王子结婚后，美满的生活充满了欢乐和幸福，他们一辈子都快快乐乐地在一起。我们的话剧就到这了，谢谢大家的关注，我，是旁白。）

众人上场，鞠躬，谢幕