无量寿净土尼咒 中文:各位哥哥, 姐姐啊!! 谁能给我SUMMARIZE一下这篇文章啊, 谢谢啦!

用英文概括就好了, PARAGRAPH FORMAT, THX, THX THX!!!!~~~

“We Hate You” : At the Threshold

Social ineptitude is perhaps most painful and explicit when it comes to one of the more perilous moments in the life of a young child: being on the edge of a group at play you want to join. It is a moment of peril, one when being liked or hated, belonging or not, is made all too public. For that reason that crucial moment has been the subject of intense scrutiny by students of child development, revealing a stark contrast in approach strategies used by popular children and by social outcasts. The findings highlight just how crucial it is for social competence to notice, interpret, and respond to emotional and interpersonal cues. While it is poignant to see a child hover on the edge of others at play, wanting to join in but being left out, it is a universal predicament. Even the most popular children are sometimes rejected ---a study of second and third graders found that 26 percent of the time the most well liked children were rebuffed when they tried to enter a group already at play.

Young children are brutally candid about the emotional judgment implicit in such rejection. Witness the following dialogue from four-year-olds in a preschool. Linda wants to join Barbara and starting to play with the animals. Barbara turns to her and says, “You can’t play!”

“yes, I can,” Linda counters. “I can have some animals, too.”
“No, you can’t,” Barbara says bluntly, “We don’t like you today.”
When Bill protests on Linda’s behalf, Nancy joins the attack: “we hate her today.”
Because of the danger of being told, either explicitly or implicitly, “we hate you”, all children are understandably cautious on the threshold of approaching a group. The anxiety, of course, is probably not much different from that felt by a grown-up at a cocktail party with strangers who hangs back from a happily chatting group who seem to be intimate friends. Because this moment at the threshold of a group is so momentous for a child, it is also, as one researcher put is, “highly diagnostic… quickly revealing differences in social skillfulness.”

Typically, new comers simply watch for a time, then join in very tentatively at first, being more assertive only in very cautious steps. What matters most for whether a child is accepted or not a how well he or she is able to enter into the group’s frame of reference, sensing what kind of play is in flow, what out of place.
The two cardinal sins that almost always lead to rejection are trying to take the lead too soon and being out of synch with the frame of frame of reference. But this is exactly what unpopular children tend to do: they push their way in to a group, trying to change the subject too abruptly or too soon, ,or offering their own opinions, or simply disagreeing with the others right away---all apparent attempts to draw attention to themselves. Paradoxically, this results in their being ignored or rejected. By contrast, popular children spend time observing the group to understand what’s going on before entering in, and then do something that shows they accept it; they wait to have their status in the group confirmed before taking initiative in suggesting what the group should do.